How to travel with different personalities
Traveling with friends or a significant other can strengthen that relationship like nothing else. It can also be the end of that relationship lol. You can see the ROUGH parts of someone else, and they also can see the ROUGH parts of you. My trip to Berlin with one of my best friends was not my best moment. I was having a flare from my disease almost the entire trip. I was in pain, I was peeing nonstop, I was grumpy. She was a BOSS though and handled my bad mood so well (I’m so sorry, Ro!). There are certain friends I know for sure I cannot travel with, those who have surprised me, and those I would go on every trip with if possible. I pick who I travel with carefully because I am aware of how I am when I travel and know how my friends are at home and know that we would not be compatible travel partners.
If you do find yourself traveling with someone who you fear will be a psycho, a grump, a wet blanket, a partier, anything you do not want to deal with, here are some tips.
Communication is key - have conversations beforehand about the following:
Discuss what kind of trip you want. Luxury, chill, nature, partying, history. If you are wanting a relaxing trip with spa treatments, champagne and charcuteries in the room, but your friend is wanting to hike and stay in a hostel, you gotta talk about that beforehand because that will not go smoothly. Try to get on the same page about what your expectations are for your trip.
Discuss your travel personality. I go go go, my sisters do not. This can cause some friction. They know my travel style now and either come with or hang back, which is completely fine with me. If there is something I want the whole group to do, I let that be known ahead of time.
Discuss your must-dos. If there is something on your list and not theirs, talk about scheduling. If there is something that you are dying to do and they do not care, but there is something they are dying to do and you aren’t, take that time to do your things separately. Arrange a meeting point, check in with each other, and have fun being alone on your trip doing your own thing!
Discuss budget! Money is not fun to talk about, but discuss hotel/airbnb price range, food price range, etc. This can help avoid any awkward discussions when you arrive. I know I am bougie and prefer Hiltons over Airbnbs, so I try to find mid-range Hiltons or sales. If one of you like Michelin star restaurants and the other is wanting to eat as cheaply as possible (both are okay!), then that needs to be discussed ahead of time.
Try things outside of your comfort zone, together.
If one of you doesn’t like to party that much, try visiting a few bars or clubs where you’re visiting. Even if it isn’t the best night of your life, it’ll be a story. I enjoy going out, but Ro really encouraged me go out in Berlin. I was in pain and was so grumpy. Neal was pushing me from Memphis to go out to the clubs in Berlin. Man, I’m so glad I did. We went to Matrix and we had a blast.
I’m not a big outdoorsy person, but we also went hiking along the German/Czech border. That is one of the best things I have ever done while traveling and is way outside of my comfort zone. I’m so glad Ro and I did that and did it together.
This is a good time to try something together that can strengthen your relationship with your friend, significant other, or family.
Be open to splitting up and doing your own thing for a few hours.
This is so underrated!!! You are (hopefully) an adult on VACATION! Not a babysitter or chaperone. Be okay with splitting up. If you are in an unsafe environment, then obviously take proper precautions. But don’t feel like you have to do every single thing together.
When Neal and I visited Poland, I wanted to visit Auschwitz so badly, Neal did not. I tried to persuade him, but he did not want to go to Auschwitz and be depressed on his vacation. I 100% understood that. We split up and met up later in the day. No feelings were hurt! I was SO worried that this trip would break us lol. Neal is very chill, likes to wander, likes to hang at bars. I am not that person lol. I am so thankful that we were both confident enough and secure enough to be able to take a break from each other, do our own thing, and meet back up. He is the best travel buddy, for real.
Sometimes you need a break from your travel buddy. Being able to take a break without feelings getting hurt is so important. When Ro and I were in Berlin, we both wanted to visit an underground bunker museum. I was having a terrrrrrible flare that day, so I told her to go on without me. She hesitated at first, but I encouraged her to go without me. I wanted to go, but my body was not allowing it. Why should MY body issues affect her wants and vacation?! It shouldn’t! (We ended up missing the time for it so neither of us got to see it… but it’s the thought that counts lol).
You will learn a lot about the person you are traveling with. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes they will surprise you. Having an idea of how they are and having these discussions before your trip will give you a good idea if you should travel together.
If you have any other tips, feel free to drop them in the comments below :)